Moving on is hard to do
I hate coming to relazations. Yesterday i went prom shopping with my mom. i had this whole plan that mike was coming down for prom(hes my ex of three and 1/2 yrs and live in nj) so we found this really pretty dress its white and a holter top, it has a bunch of beady things and the skirt slpit so on part of it is silky and the other part is like flowy stuf i bet that doesnt make any sence
so we bought the dress cuz you know when yu find something at the store and you really like it and it looks good so you have to get it, and it doesnt help when your mom and everyone else in the dressing room is looking at you say how good you look. so we spent $204 on the dress and a jacket thingy.
When we got home kate my sister went to her friends and my parents went to the temple (LDS thing) so i was left home alone. after smoking 1 or 2 ciggerettes ya i know i broke but ive been really stressed lately. i decided to pop in Breakfast a tiffany's love that movie!
so while watching the movie a decided to put on my new dress. nothing like watching a good old fashion romance and siting in a prom dress that looks like a wedding dress. then i started thinking about what prom was ganna be like and i got really sad. i thought wow tats ganna be really hard going to prom with the guy that i loved. then i thought wow its not that i DID love him but i DO love him. that scares the hell of me.
i spent 2 of the five years we have known eachother jsut trying to get over him and i was pretty sure i had. i texted little miss this is part of our convo
me -part of me still wants him but i dunno
Little miss- and part of you will allways still want him you just have to be grateful for the times you had and continue to pray for acceptance of the situation and for closure.
me- i dont want to want him i just wanna be friends and have no fellings like that .
Little miss- sweetie that is an unrealistic expectation. just accept the fact you will allways have feelings for this man and stop trying to deny your self thosefeelings. the sooner you stop pretending the sooner you can accept and move on.
wow i thought i had moved on but i guess not and i think a part of me doesnt want to move on i just wanna hang on to him because im scared scared of what i dunn, maybe being alone maybe of having to start all over agian with someone and risk the rejection when he learns my past i dunno all i know is im scared to be with out him
These are all pictures of me and mike the firat two are when i went to nj in december and the other one is when we first started dating in like '01 or something like that
so to sum it up im not sure i want to move on its hard
so we bought the dress cuz you know when yu find something at the store and you really like it and it looks good so you have to get it, and it doesnt help when your mom and everyone else in the dressing room is looking at you say how good you look. so we spent $204 on the dress and a jacket thingy.
When we got home kate my sister went to her friends and my parents went to the temple (LDS thing) so i was left home alone. after smoking 1 or 2 ciggerettes ya i know i broke but ive been really stressed lately. i decided to pop in Breakfast a tiffany's love that movie!
so while watching the movie a decided to put on my new dress. nothing like watching a good old fashion romance and siting in a prom dress that looks like a wedding dress. then i started thinking about what prom was ganna be like and i got really sad. i thought wow tats ganna be really hard going to prom with the guy that i loved. then i thought wow its not that i DID love him but i DO love him. that scares the hell of me.
i spent 2 of the five years we have known eachother jsut trying to get over him and i was pretty sure i had. i texted little miss this is part of our convo
me -part of me still wants him but i dunno
Little miss- and part of you will allways still want him you just have to be grateful for the times you had and continue to pray for acceptance of the situation and for closure.
me- i dont want to want him i just wanna be friends and have no fellings like that .
Little miss- sweetie that is an unrealistic expectation. just accept the fact you will allways have feelings for this man and stop trying to deny your self thosefeelings. the sooner you stop pretending the sooner you can accept and move on.
wow i thought i had moved on but i guess not and i think a part of me doesnt want to move on i just wanna hang on to him because im scared scared of what i dunn, maybe being alone maybe of having to start all over agian with someone and risk the rejection when he learns my past i dunno all i know is im scared to be with out him
These are all pictures of me and mike the firat two are when i went to nj in december and the other one is when we first started dating in like '01 or something like that
so to sum it up im not sure i want to move on its hard
posted by Spookz at Saturday, February 18, 2006
what more can I say, sweetheart?
I do read your blog, you know.
; )
so, have you moved on?? i'm ready for some new fairytales!
It is hard to move on, but sometimes you just have to. It doesn't mean the next guy you date has to be your next true love but you never know unless you try.
Good luck.